4 Reasons Why British Petroleum Has it Coming


British Petroleum is a name we probably haven’t heard of much until the latest environmental disaster.  Make no mistake, they are taking a lot of heat in the media…BUT…they probably will not pay dearly for his like so many suggest.  Right now President Obama is talking tough, but I doubt there will be any repercussions beyond their CEO’s maybe getting lower quality hookers for the next week or so.  No fines unless of course, they are passed along to us the consumer.

Should some miracle happen and BP executives get what is coming to them, rest assured that they have earned their flogging.  Not only for this latest “duh, whut do we do now?” scenario, but for a long history of douche-baggery.  Let’s take it from the top!

1- Responsible for the current Iranian Regime. sip coffee…SPEWWWWW!! WHAT? That’s right kiddies, you heard me.  BP is the dick who decided that a democratically elected Iran was bad for business.

in 1953 Iran Prime Minister Mohammed Mosaddeq, was elected in a free election.  Believe it or not, Iran was not always ruled by scum sucking degenerates who invoke Islam to push the buttons of the dimwitted masses.  However, back then the elected president promised his people he would seek a fair price for Iranian oil from…you guessed it…British Petroleum.  BP, not interested in paying anything more than the beans they got away with up till then, did the reasonable thing and approached the CIA and MI6.  Thorough a series of misinformation and propaganda campaigns, the “communist” government was overthrown and the Shaw was put in power as a puppet government.  This in turn led to anti-Americanism which led to the revolution.  The zanny antics continue as a result the short-sighted, backstabbing geo-political stupidity we continue to see in Washington today.  Thanks again BP!

2- In 2006 BP was asleep at the wheel in Prudhoe Bay, Alaska, when corroded pipelines began to leak.  This lack of attention to maintenance resulted in dumping an estimated 200,000 gallons of crude oil onto Alaskan tundra.

Reuters interviewed Thomas Barret, the head of the U.S. Department of Transport, who said; “What was most unusual was to have an operator like BP not maintaining these pipelines to the standards we typically see in the industry.”

3- Again in 2006, BP was boning Columbian farmers. Under the shroud of secrecy they paid out a multi-million dollar settlement to Columbian farmers who were terrorized by death squads “protecting” BP’s Ocensa oil pipeline. A thousand poor Columbian farmers filed a human rights challenge in the High Court of London, charging BP with benefiting from the bullying and persecution handed out by their proxy militias.

By sheer “coincidence”, a lawyer attempting to assist the farmers discovered she was on a paramilitary death list, and high-tailed it to Britain where she was given asylum. While the total compensation paid to the farmers is unknown, it is believed to have totaled in the tens of millions of dollars. Part of the settlement stipulated BP would bear “no admission of liability” for the smackdowns, death threats, and property damage suffered by the farmers.  How convenient.

This stuff is only the tip of the iceberg for BP.  Whether it be poor maintenance or non-stop screwing with other countries to get access to oil, our world gets one step closer to crapping its pants because of their continuing ineptitude.

The current oil spill aside, BP has shown themselves to be the gold standard in backstabbing, meddling and corruption for corporations.   American politicians are constantly using the phrase “we will protect our interests”, and have no problem using BP to accomplish that goal.  Let me fill you in on a little tip, when you use every dirty underhanded tactic to get what you want, you tend not to make friends.  And in the current WWE Battleroyal that is the world today, going it alone is getting a lot tougher.

With friends like BP, who needs enemies?

© 2010 – 2011, John Paul Parrot. All rights reserved.

About Author

John Paul Parrot ( aka. The Dysfunctional Parrot ) is a disgruntled Systems Analyst who wanders the Canadian wastelands saving small villages with the power of Kung Fu.  His chair is also a little too close to the twenty year old microwave.  As you can well imagine, this has had certain side effects.