Congratulations from DysfunctionalParrot.com to grossly underpaid guest writer SHAWZBEAR ( cold day in Hell you get a dime out of me, ya hear? ) for successfully completing a full marathon today. That’s a whopping 42 kilometers of self-propelled motion that no human should ever have to endure, let alone choose to do on their own free will. Seriously man, what are you made of to do that without puking up a spleen?
As a token of good will from this illustrious site, I present the highly coveted yet monetarily worthless “Atta-Boy!” Award by giving you a pat on the back. Unfortunately you’d probably keel over dead at this stage of the game were I to actually do that, so instead I salute you with a thumbs up from a safe distance while your wife contemplates whether or not to dial 911.
On an unrelated note, I need a piano moved tomorrow ( looking at you SHAWZ ) so I trust you’ll be feeling perky by then.
© 2012, John Paul Parrot. All rights reserved.