Hallelujah Diet: 5 Things You Better Know

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As a rule, I despise diet plans with the fire of a thousands suns.  They all seem to follow the same path of living on the extreme.  But I guess that’s a by-product of our society that does this with everything anyway.  Never is this more obvious than the vast majority who eat the standard North American Diet and are pork licking tubs of lard who eat meat like it was the only food in existence.

First you may be asking: WHAT IS THE HALLELUJAH DIET?  According to their site, it is a vegan diet plan based on Genesis 1:29 and thus they call it “God’s Ultimate Diet Plan”.  Oddly enough, they ignore Leviticus, which goes very much in detail regarding the foods God gives the thumbs up ( ie. kosher ).  But I’ll get into that in just a bit.

Unlike many who would critique this system, I have firsthand experience with the Hallelujah Diet.  I have family members and friends on it.  And yes, it is overall a good system.  Kind of.  Allow me to elaborate with 5 things you should know while at the same time hoping everyone I know who is on this diet doesn’t read this article.

#5. Good Food.  Bad Theology.

Let me state first that I am indeed a God-fearing Christian.  And as such I was willing hear out Dr. Malkmus, the founder of the Hallelujah Diet, through several of his many videos presenting his new way of stuffing food in our pieholes.   I should also state that Dr. Malkmus is not actually a medical doctor, but instead a theological one.  And even then, a very questionable one.

Let me also state that I am a habitual theology junkie.  That means I make Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormons cry on a regular basis.  It also means that I have many, many problems with Dr. Malkmus’s use of Bible verses to justify his expressly vegan way of living.  For example, using Jesus’ reference to being the “bread of life” should never be taken in a dietary view.  That’s just common frigin’ sense.  But he does stuff like this repeatedly…taking Bible verses out of context and using them to push his product.  Thus, his obviously flawed hermeneutic is so either by incompetence or intent.

My point is that if you’re looking for a Biblical justification to go 100% Vegan, you’re just not going to find it without some serious interpretive acrobatics.  But also true, you won’t find anything AGAINST it either.  It’s just an argument from silence.  Somehow I think Moses and the prophets had bigger issues to convey.

If I wanted to pull the theological dietary trump card, then the Bible’s book of Leviticus is pretty much the death blow to any notion that the Hallelujah Diet is God’s chosen food plan.  Leviticus, although forbidding meats such as dog, pig, scavenger birds, shellfish and your Grandmas’s liver-patte, does explicitly allow for poultry, eggs, cheese, dairy and proper types of fish.  Vegetarian it is not.  And Vegan?  Not even slightly.

#4. Fly With the Eagles. Fall Like a Turkey.

If you eat like most Americans then you are statistically speaking, a fat un-kosher slob with bacon fat running down your chin.  Weighed down with McDonald’s slop, processed foods and a near complete absence of fruits and vegetables will leave you ripe for the picking when the zombie horde rises.

For these people the Hallelujah Diet will initially give health gains never thought possible.  Weight loss, increased energy, a positive attitude and erections you could hammer a spike with will all be welcome signals that the body is ready to chew bubble gum and kick ass.

Just watch out for the sudden drop once you fly too close to the sun.  That happens about 2-3 years in when your body has completed its swing to the other side of the pendulum.

The reason for this is simple.  As a society we live on the extreme.  Our typical North American diet is one extreme and Hallelujah Acres is the other.  While you are moving from one extreme to the other you will feel great as you pass through the middle.  Unfortunately, when you arrive on the other side you are in the same mess you were in before.  Malnourished and prone to illness.

That’s why people who have abandoned veganism likewise initially feel great…until they complete their meat-scarfing journey to the other side.  Then the vicious cycle repeats when old health problems re-appear.

#3. Road Kill Will Smell Like a Tenderloin Steak

Your body is actually a pretty smart thing.  For the most part it knows what it wants nutritionally, and will punish you mercilessly like a back alley thug if you ignore those warnings.  Ignore your fruits and vegetables?  Enjoy your mid-life tumor.  Ignore your moderate intake of heathy meats?  Good luck getting out of bed in the morning.

Me and my wife were quite successful at doing the Hallelujah Diet for a while until we arrived on the other side of the extreme.  At that point my wife’s IBS ( Irritable Bowel Syndrome ) became an issue, and my ability to do the workout programs I love so much ( P90X, Insanity ) were starting to back off from the gains I initially had.  We were confused.  We were so healthy doing this system, so why was it failing us now?

This turn of events also came with a symptom.  A hunger for the roasted flesh of defenceless animals.  This left us with 3 options…

  1. Have some poultry, eggs, dairy and fish in moderation. Did I mention moderation?  Moderation means NOT every #@!$ meal.
  2. Stuff our faces like Jughead until our stomachs burst like a bloated cow.
  3. Deny the symptoms and fall deeper into malnutrition.

Odds are many take options 2 and 3. If you can choose Option 1 then congratulations. You have just found the middle ground.  Give yourself a cookie.

To complete my story, my wife’s IBS practically disappeared when she had a regular intake of clean meats such as poultry.  Thus we now live a mostly vegetarian lifestyle with moderate ( that word again!! ) amounts of good clean meat.

#2. Why Are We Supplementing “God’s Diet” Again?

For a diet that supposedly is all you ever need, Hallelujah Acres sells a lot of supplements.  To me this is the red flag that signals the obvious:  This system is trying to fill the gaps with pills and powders.

As a rule I have no problem with supplementation such as whey or creatine.  But the point is that supplements are supposed to “supplement”…not become the primary source.  Without B-vitamin pills your intake under the Hallelujah Diet would be jack squat.  Normally I wouldn’t nit-pick like this, except for the “God’s Ultimate Food Plan” label they give themselves which to be honest, sounds like a snake-oil label from the start.  HAcres can deny it all they want, but the fact is humans are omnivores.

Oddly enough, God seems aware of that.

#1. On P90X?  Insanity?  Expect Quicker Plateau’s.

OK P90X-fans!  Guess what…Tony Horton has a diet that lives in the middle.  That means by his own words he is primarily a vegetarian, but understands occasional ( the bold print is for a reason! ) consumption of clean meats ( ie. no red meat ) like fish, eggs and poultry.  The guy is in his 50’s and has better health than many athletic 20 year olds, so I’ll assume he knows a thing or two.  Shaun T of Insanity/Asylum fame is much the same way.  These guys are professionals, and they are successful at their craft because they do what most people cannot: live with moderation in the middle.

Contrary to popular opinion, elite athletes do NOT eat a ton of meat.  But they do eat it nonetheless.  This is a difficult for our society of 6-pack drinking and 2 pizza eating garbage-hounds to comprehend.  Yeesh, we’re so messed up that when we think “protein” a vast majority of us thing a cheeseburger is a viable choice.

Now I’m also not saying someone cannot be a fit vegan.  Daniel Mite for example will kick any of our butts.  But it makes your food lifestyle unnecessarily difficult.

CONCLUSION

To conclude, the Hallelujah Diet is indeed a good diet as long as you dispense with the strict veganism and sneak in occasional clean meat sources such as once per  day.  It’s also good if you’re on one end of the burger-scarfing extreme and need to get your act together fast due to major health issues.  Just realize that you will need to adjust your food intake again later and spend some time working to stay in the middle.

If you do choose to go this route, I just ask of you one small favor.  Don’t call it “God’s Food Plan”.  Please.

© 2012 – 2015, Dysfunctional Parrot. All rights reserved. No reproduction of written material is permitted.

About Author

John Paul Parrot ( aka. The Dysfunctional Parrot ) is a disgruntled Systems Analyst who wanders the Canadian wastelands saving small villages with the power of Kung Fu.  His chair is also a little too close to the twenty year old microwave.  As you can well imagine, this has had certain side effects.

  • JohnG

    I know people that were on the hallelujah diet for several years. It got rid of his prostate cancer, so the whole family went on it for probably 5 years. HA was not selling supplements at the time that I know of, but they really believed in Dr. Malkmus or whatever his name is. Anyway, they eat fish now. Like you said, it’s a good diet, but needs protein. I’m convinced that eating mainly fruits & veggies, with a little meat, and no processed crap is the only way to really be healthy. It wasn’t that far in the past when your only real option was to eat at home. We’re the same species, but now our food choices have definitely changed.

  • Thank you for this review. I’m considering becoming a vegetarian but the HA veganism makes me worry i wind up anemic (it runs in the family and I’ve had low iron in the past).

  • beafortbyen

    Thank you for the insightful review. I just bought the book (with recipes) and I, too, cringed when reading some of the references to scripture, but I’m willing to overlook that because I’ve been rebelling against what I know to be true of what my body needs and I plan to use the diet as a guideline. Thank you for stressing that – it’s a guideline. Your body knows what it needs.

  • FedUpWIthFoolishness

    This is the most SANE article I’ve read! As one who comes from a system that touts vegetarian/vegan life style, I’ve often been bothered by the fact that the seminar leaders extolling it’s virtues are NOT what I would want to look like.

    NO! I don’t want to look like the majority of us do—but what man wants to look like these skinny wimps that look like they would get sand kicked in their face on the beach? Heck, I’m a woman, and I wanna kick sand in their face—–like the tension between grace and works—moderation or middle ground is usually safest and sanest.

    Thanks for an EXCELLENT article. And settling the question for ME.

  • Larry M Jones

    My wife and I have been on the Hallelujah Diet for 8.33 years. She has been diagnosed lupus free by a medical doctor. My body is very alkaline vs acidic–just turned 73 and do not have a pain, or pains, in my body.

    If I had followed traditional treatment and “assumed room temperature” by now, no one would have been blamed–“Well, the doctors did all they could do.”

    Some recent studies indicate that a plant-based diet supplies all the protein that is needed by the body. When anyone says, “But where do you get your protein?” I reply by asking them where they think an elephant gets its protein. If George Malkmus has lived 38 years on a plant-based diet, we should stop questioning the need for animal products to provide adequate protein.

    Since Americans consume a large quantity of dairy, I wonder why we rank among the highest cases of osteoporosis per capita?

    I am thankful for learning about the need to change to a plant-based diet to overcome health problems, and I don’t feel the need to debate with anyone who is opposed; we are all entitled to our opinion. Thank goodness for my putting those times behind when I would stuff myself with the Standard American Diet (SAD) and feel like an 18-wheeler had run over me. Well, I am still stupid enough to do that when on the road away from home a dozen or so times each year. Food sinning is still tempting.

    • I too am a vegetarian, very health conscious, and when asked who my Primary Care Physician is I always respond “me!”.

      That having been said, I do not trust Malkmus. I find him to have extremely questionable Biblical interpretation and someone who claims to have a “cure all”. I have watched many of his videos from people who are 100% sold on his stuff and cringe whenever he butchers a verse. Truth is, the Bible says very little if anything about veganism. Has literal chapters on kosher though, but that is completely glossed over.

      True though, protein is highly over-rated. Get what you need and forget the rest. Thanks for weighing in!

      • Larry M Jones

        Yes, I don’t like for Malkamus or any preacher to jerk a verse out of God’s word to promote something that has nothing to do with that verse.
        You are a vegetarian; I am a vegan; there is a tremendous difference.

      • Shepherdsstudent@mail.com

        Judgment begins at the pulpit, does the “reverend” know this?

  • holyguy7

    Let me start by saying that personally, like the author, I am opposed to “diets.” The reason being is that if you want to start a good habit, then it must sustain you in a positive way for the rest of your life or there is no point starting. It is very difficult to change a habit so if you can start a good habit, then keep it going forever. Your diet should be free from processed foods.

    That being said, I am not opposed to eating meats but 99% of meats you buy at the store are HIGHLY PROCESSED. That is the main reason why I avoid it. Now, wild game or grass feed cattle is different (this is primarily what they were eating in biblical times). I have been on a primarily vegan diet for a number of years now (and so have all 8 of my children). We are all in very good health as a result and rarely get ill.

    We do eat a little turkey every once in a while (maybe a couple times a week). We also eat organic eggs too. I never had a problem getting through any beachbody workout. I do crave fat as I don’t get enough. It is also primarily the reason I cannot lose the last 25 pounds of body fat even though I workout 6 days a week for a year now. My fat comes primarily from coconut and olive oils but to lose weight, I probably need more than what I get.

    • Very much agreed on the processed meats. I too will only eat grass fed meats and that almost always negates beef. I also do kosher so swine is out. A good rule is unless the meat is organic, it’s probably garbage.

      Recently though I have discovered the awesomeness of organic, grass fed bison. Again, moderation is key! Someone close to me has recently gone off the Hallelujah Diet ( finally! ) and started eating small amounts of raw bison liver a couple times a week. Almost immediate improvement in health. 90% vegan is ok. 100% is asking for trouble.

  • jcd0101

    I am on so many pills it isnt funny..
    i was able when i was 40 to do an almost 100% vegan diet ..
    basically just lettuce cucumbers and yogurt (yea i know) but it was close enought
    I lost 60 pounds – but then tore up both knees and ended up with 3 surgeries

    I then put all of that weight back on – i couldnt exercise or even walk for months..
    So now i am back to where i began..

    I think this time i may not do the whole diet but start cutting down on the sheer junk i put into myself.. I work in a high stress job and believe me i need to loose the weight again or end up dead.
    So i am starting today and will start to implement some kind of sanity and go to the gym – i will look at this more closely
    but i liked the article..

    Thank you – it gave me some sanity – i dont even know what carbs are and everyone tells me bread is horrid (well they used it for 3,000 years) i dont know but i think not all bread is bad..
    by the way i am 54 now so you can forget about me running even a mile.
    But i can walk – so again its a start..
    just me..
    But heck anything is a start.. at this point..

  • Rich Bray

    Do you count calories on the Hallelujah diet? How do you know when you have had enough food?

    • No you don’t. The diet is defined as what you eat, not how much you eat. Your calorie intake/needs are something you would have to discover on your own.

      Or you could simply not resort to extremes based on wretchedly poor Biblical interpretation. That’s always a good way to go too.

      As a temporary cleanse, I’m content to give this concept a pass. As a way of life it fails miserably.

  • Ray Tcleantoday

    One must remember when reading reviews on a subject that will take money away from Big Pharmy. They have their members sitting on AMA boards and have paid politicians in their pockets. Thus do your research and if several sites concur with each other in similar suggestions, then my experience is that, I’ve been researching about my cancer for 3 yrs and I find that this diet is common with several other Natural Diets out there. Again I would expect Big Pharmy to write up poor reviews to send us back to their drugs, in fear of us finding the means and the ways to cure ourselves of many diseases. Remember Big Pharmy does not care about human life, they ONLY care about making money. A lot of my research shows that veggy’s and fruits and seeds and nuts are good for us fighting any disease as long as we use common sense–ORGANIC is the way to go or washing our food of contaminates will help alot.