The road to making the beach bully dry up and blow away continues...

By Jean Paul Fender


The review continues as the Dysfunctional Parrot keeps climbing the mountain of Body Beast.  Thus begins the analysis of Phases 2 and 3.



Time: 30 minutes

Dynamic sets of death.  You start off with incline presses meant to do some serious damage to your upper pecs and then you move into regular presses and decline push ups.  Sounds easy?  WELL IT ISN’T!  Each set is progressive starting with high reps/low weight until and moving up to lower reps/higher weight with a freaking drop-set at the end that makes your chest want to slide off your skeleton.  In short, if you want the kind of huge pectoral muscles that Ren prayed for ( Ren and Stimpy inside joke ) then this should do it.

My goal?  I want to be able to do that pec-twitch like that bad guy Chong-Li in Bloodsport.  Chicks dig that.


Time: 41 minutes

Sometimes life isn’t fair.  Some days, you just have to do a leg workout that means business.  And the non-stop dynamic sets in Bulk:Legs will deliver.

If you’re not screaming like a tortured banshee during the Progressive EZ Bar Split Squats, then you’re not doing it right.  15 reps, 12 reps, 8 reps then do it again in reverse.  Sweet mutha…

After a roll call of squats and presses, you’ll end off with 2 sets of 50 calf raises.  Yes, fifty.  Don’t worry, it’s only as painful as it sounds.  Final analysis?  This will thrash your legs like nothing else will, so don’t skip your protein shake unless you want to walk like your octogenarian grandmother the next day.  Pure gold.

Best Line:  “Did you say your prayers?  Did you eat your vitamins?”


Time: 29 minutes

In many ways this is the same as Back and Biceps…minus the Biceps.  This is a traditional back workout with pull-overs, pull-ups, dead-lifts and a particularly agonizing force set ( do 5 reps, hold at bottom, repeat 5 times with same weight…sounds like it feels ) of one arm rows.

Bulk: Back lasts for only 29 minutes, but it is enough to get the job done because you won’t spend a second of your time screwing around.  And considering that tomorrow is Arms day, I won’t complain.  In fact, take the extra time you have and get some good stretching in.


Time: 35 minutes

This is alternating between biceps and triceps doing progressive, single and force sets.

I can’t even begin to describe what it is like to arrive at 35 pounds in a progressive set and end it being unable to do a 10 pound bicep curl without screaming for a shot of morphine.  This workout is just plain sick.  So choose your weight wisely unless you want your spouse to come running down the stairs in panic over your cries of agony ( I think my wife is really starting to worry about me ).


Time: 35 minutes

On the surface it might appear that BUILD: Shoulders and BULK: Shoulders are two similar workouts but the differences will become apparent once you grab the weights.  What makes the BULK version different is the addition of Progressive Sets ( rows and reverse flyes ).  So I would say the end goal is different.

Resist being tempted to use the same weight as the BUILD version.  Doing 35 lifts non-stop in a Progressive Set with the same weight as a standard Single Set would be lunacy.  As someone who deals with recovering from a shoulder injury, don’t crash and burn due to ego.


Time: 10 minutes

Many moves are also stuff you’ve probably seen before in P90X or Insanity, but there are a few surprises to keep you interested.  Yet what I appreciate about this is how Beast Abs respects your time.

In terms of intensity, I’ll be honest…P90X and X2 Ab Ripper are slightly more intense.  However I’m going to give Beast Abs kudos for lower-back core work and the option to use some weight.  Plus there is nothing easy about it as many new moves had me stopping to regain composure ( Bucket Drops are a killer ).  Beast Abs is usually done after Cardio and is done once a week and only occasionally twice.

But is once a week enough?  In my opinion, yes as the whole Body Beast program works your core, and most workouts have a 1-minute abdominal move at the end anyway.  Just remember, true abs are made in the kitchen.


body beast block 3

Once you have completed the BUILD and BULK Phases, the program has one more block called the BEAST Phase, which is a combination of workouts from the first 2 Phases.




First the Weaknesses.  Body Beast has practically no stretching to speak of and as such I believe this will make you more prone to injury over time.  That’s why I personally would recommend incorporating flexibility or yoga into your regimen.  Again, this depends on your goals.  If you want to be only big then by all means do BB and ignore all else.  But my fitness philosophy is to be versatile, fast, durable and muscular ( or Batman, if you will ).  Body Beast can absolutely be a part of that as long as you take care not to ignore the missing components.

The workout sheets are also good for only one workout, so referencing past accomplishments will require you developing a system to look back.  I’d suggest making your own sheets in Excel.

And finally ( and this really isn’t a “con”! ), you may also find yourself talking like Sagi.  On more than one occasion I have approached my wife asking “you like big boy, no?” while flexing a pose.  All I can say is she’s a good sport about it.


Now for the STRENGTHS.  Obviously Sergi’s role in the Israeli Defence Forces was to deflect Hamas missiles with his chest.  The guy is a machine.  I can say without reservation that I like his style and I definitely like what I see with Body Beast.

The quality of this production is top notch, as the time bar even has expected rep counts under each move.  Very handy.  The music is also great.  Perfect tempo, tone and not intrusive at all.  Plus you can shut it off if you feel otherwise.

And the million dollar question…is this harder than P90X or X2?  Yup.  ’Fraid so.  Body Beast will drop kick your ass as if the Hulk picked up Tony Horton and started beating you with him.  Body Beast is super concentrated punishment in one area while P90X is spread around over multiple facets of fitness.  That means yes, Body Beast is harder, but not necessarily better.  Like I said, it depends what you want.  Remember when comparing that neither P90X, X2, or Insanity were ever designed to give serious muscle mass.  This is.

Give credit where it is due.  Body Beast is a program that claims to create that muscle.  It doesn’t promise flexibility, speed, firm thighs or anything besides just getting you big.  And it seems like it will accomplish its mission in spades.  And because it is true to itself and delivers I have to give this a solid 5 Feathers out of 5.  There’s nothing else out there that can measure up to this for home body building in terms of professional production. If Body Beast can be a regular part of a workout cycle ( 1 month P90X/X2, 2 months Body Beast, 1 month Insanity/Asylum for example ) then wow…your physical fitness future looks bright indeed.

What comes next?  For me it’s not about the review anymore.  I want this.  I want to put on another ten pounds of muscle just because I think I could benefit from it ( like for putting my co-workers in a headlock until they cry for example ).  That means I’m going back to Day 1 and will begin the full Body Beast 90 day program!

And I also want that free shirt.  I have a bit of an unhealthy obsession when it comes to getting those things.


© 2012 – 2014, Dysfunctional Parrot. All rights reserved. No reproduction of written material is permitted.

Jean Paul Fender

Jean Paul Fender

Supreme Overlord at DysfunctionalParrot.com
Jean Paul Fender ( aka. The Dysfunctional Parrot ) is a disgruntled Systems Analyst who wanders the Canadian wastelands saving small villages with the power of Kung Fu.  His chair is also a little too close to the twenty year old microwave.  As you can well imagine, this has had certain side effects.
Jean Paul Fender
Jean Paul Fender
dp_tip_qrThe workout programs reviewed are the result of your generous if not reluctant support.   If you can, help the DP keep up the fight to stay ahead of the deluge of sell-out reviews on the internet by donating via Bitcoin.  And make it snappy, my Ferrari payment is due.
  • http://dysfunctionalparrot.com Dysfunctional Parrot

    Sorry folks, the commenting system took a powder for a couple days and I was on vacation.

    To answer a question: yes, I am developing some Excel spreadsheets for this program that I will make freely available. Expect something to be announced in a week or so.

    • Brandon

      starting body beast on thursday and was wondering if you ever made those spreadsheets? I imagine you are talking about worksheets for each workout? I am not a fan of beachbodys worksheets because its one worksheet per day, where p90x had one worksheet for each workout and you could easily compare your weights and reps. Does yours have that? Thanks DP love your fitness reviews…brandon

  • http://twitter.com/SRMcEvoy Steven R. McEvoy

    Love the review has convinced me to give it a go.

  • mars009

    Totally agree on not enough stretching. If you do the stretch from P90X after you are done with every workout then you are gold, but otherwise it seems to lack that. However, I haven’t been this sore in a freaking long time, and call me sick, but I like the soreness. How’s the whole eating going for you?

    • http://dysfunctionalparrot.com Dysfunctional Parrot

      My food regimen has been pretty much standardized for the last few years due to P90X and Insanity, but I am popping back some additional tuna and a good quality post-workout drink to get more out of the program. So far I seem to be holding together!

  • http://twitter.com/SRMcEvoy Steven R. McEvoy

    Starting tomorrow.

  • http://www.bookreviewsandmore.ca SRMcEvoy

    If I had eaten before Back and Bis this morning I would have hurled. As it was had to swallow down my coffee a few times! Great workout.

    • http://dysfunctionalparrot.com Dysfunctional Parrot

      It’s those blasted drop-sets which kill me every time!

      Wait until you get to the Bulk Phase. You won’t be able to move!

  • http://scienceunveiled.blogspot.com/ Tim Maguire

    Another great review. Could you put up a quick comparison between the normal and lean versions of BB? I am curious what they add in and what the timings are as it seems counter to the BB core program.

    • http://dysfunctionalparrot.com Dysfunctional Parrot

      The only real difference with the Lean/Huge versions is the addition of Cardio in Phase 2: Bulk. The ‘Huge’ option has none in that phase. Beyond simply doing more of the Cardio workouts the differences are minimal.

  • Amanda

    Wow, five out of five feathers?! I’m starting BB in October. Most women are afraid of the Beast but I think we could all benefit from an extra pound of muscle or two. And this is totally off topic (or maybe it isn’t) but where did you learn how to write? Or maybe you didn’t? That’s why you’re such a good writer isn’t it?

    • http://dysfunctionalparrot.com Dysfunctional Parrot

      Thanks for the compliment! I owe any writing talent I have to my best teacher…Mom!

      As for women on BB, I don’t think any should worry about bulking up like they were going to be blasted with Gamma Rays. My way of preventing that would be to lower the weight, and cut back on muscle-gain workout supplements.

      Hope you enjoy it as much as I am right now!

  • Rachel

    What equipment do you need if doing the ‘beast’?

    • http://dysfunctionalparrot.com Dysfunctional Parrot

      Weights ( naturally! ) and preferably and incline bench. One guys always uses a stability ball as an alternative to a bench so that’s an alternative you can go with. There is also some use of the pull-up bar.

  • Jade

    Great read! BB is a good home workout, I was surprised. Its nice being able to bulk at home for a change. I was hitting the gym for years and It was awesome. Unfortunately there’s too many interruptions there and now that I’m a stay home dad I don’t have time to hit the gym as often. The only “CON” to the program is there’s things that need to be added to some of the workouts.

    All in all it has the fundamentals to make you huge in a short time frame.
    Sergi’s a very good trainer, I would defiantly recommend it! (I would stretch the muscle group you are working that day before you hit the weights and make the warmup 5 – 10 min long for INJURY PREVENTION)

  • http://www.facebook.com/chase.r.roberts Chase Red Baron Roberts

    I tried BB out, but just returned it today. My main gripe was that i had to change weights so often. I use adjustable dumb bells, but not like the uber expensive. powerblock or bowflex ones. So changing weights can be troublesome after the millionth time.

    It became so much of a distraction that the workouts easily took 20 minutes longer than it needed to.

    That being said, if you have easy adjustable dumb bells or several dumb bells you can just pick up and go, then this is for you! The workouts themselves are really boss.

    Also, invest in a bench. It’s not worth it to use the stability ball, especially for incline moves. Get the Gold’s Gym one for 50 bucks. It’s not the best quality, but for 50 bucks you can’t beat what you get!

  • Hollywoodmaxx

    So I lost 30 lbs with P90X, 15 lbs with p90X2 and have been doing BB for 9 weeks and all I can say is WOW! I’ve packed on 10lbs of muscle and my body have never looked more defined. I feel stronger and I love BB. Just make sure you do the stretches from p90X. Waiting for BB2. In another 4 weeks its back to P90X then P90X 2 then BB again for the spring/summer. I love beachbody they have helped me transform by body into a masterpiece!

  • http://www.facebook.com/yokay89 Yo Han K

    i am at this phase and i skip few days, should i start the week again?

  • Alexander Canyock

    I am currently doing Asylum Volume 1. I was wondering do you think you could just throw in a bulk/ build workout from Body Beast here in there just to have a good muscle pump day without doing the whole program? Would it be okay to do a bulk workout without going through the build phase? Thanks. I was just wondering because I don’t necessarily want to buy the whole program. Maybe just the bulk workouts chest, back, and legs.

    • http://dysfunctionalparrot.com Dysfunctional Parrot

      I do it all the time! Very rarely these days do I do a full 60 or 90 days of one program. One week it’s P90X, another week Insanity, or Body Beast…etc. That having been said I highly doubt Beachbody sells the program as separate disks, so you’d need to buy the whole program anyway.

      • Alexander Canyock

        Thank you. I have seen some of the discs be sold individually on ebay. So idk. What would you say is a better type of workout? A build or a bulk one? What workout(s) would you say is truly unique from the P90x resistance routines? Do you have a favorite Body Beast workout?

        • http://dysfunctionalparrot.com Dysfunctional Parrot

          If you want a truly savage leg workout, go for BULK-Legs because its a killer. Therefore, if I had to choose only two routines I would get Build-Chest/Tris and Bulk-Legs. Can’t go wrong with those!

  • david t lowe

    the chest and tri and back and bi tempo workouts are torture as well if you can you should get them they add a mix up on the build and beast phases

  • clearday

    Hey parrot- did you complete beast program outside of this review? Any visible difference from your day one to day 90?

  • Laura

    In order for exercising to stay fun and do-able for me I tend to mix it up, not follow the exact protocol of the programs. Is that a bad thing or is that the ultimate muscle confusion? For instance lately i’ve been doing one week of p90x(2) where its one day weights one day cardio. On the weight days I always do about 15 to 20 min of cardio as well post workout (biking or running) Then the next week I will do BodyBeast. I alternate. Would you say this is a goos way to excercise or not? It keeps me motivated and it keeps my body guessing every time. I Would like to get your opinion on this. I love p90x and other programs, but I feel like the whole ‘Do this for 90 days or else’ part is a bit of a gimmick, right?

    • http://dysfunctionalparrot.com Dysfunctional Parrot

      I hardly ever follow the 90-day mantra anymore. I almost always mix my workouts up from one day to the next and have not suffered for it at all. For example, on any given week I’ll do T25, P90X, Body Beast and an Asylum. Mixing it up is the best part! Just try and rotate the body parts and I don’t see a problem.

      P90X for example is great, butt he cardio options are terrible. And why not switch out the occasional Chest and Back for Body Beast? The options are endless!

      • Laura

        Thanks alot for your reply! That is exactly what I have been doing the past few months. P90X cardio is not the best, but the plyocide of p90x2 is pretty decent, so i tend to also mix p90x and p90x2. I try to get as much variety in as I can, and as well always rotating the body parts, never train the same part twice in a row. Great site, great writing. Greetings from Amsterdam!

        • Laura

          Oh and also, sometimes I do 2 sessions of body beast, because I find 30 min workout in BULK way too short. So for instance yesterday I did BB BULK chest and BB bulk Back, since those two muscle groups go well together. That way i get an hour of training is. Is that OK, in your opinion?

  • Dysfunctional Parrot

    Got a bit sidetracked with those as I’m trying to push out another fitness review ( Supreme 90 Day ), and might soon be moving to a different job! At this point I’m stuck in limbo with a half complete document that unfortunately might take longer to produce than originally intended.