Rant of the Week: Ann Coulter and Canada


Bill O’Reilly, Glen Beck, Sean Hannity…I really don’t have problem with any of them.  Oh sure, I don’t follow everything they say with blind allegiance.  But as conservative editorialists they do have an entertaining quality which in all fairness is their jobs.

Wait, did I mention Ann Coulter?

Ann on the other hand makes my goldfish look like Thomas Edison.

First off,  Ann Coulter is not a conservative. Conservatives who are sane do not hold to her Imperialist “America’s way or no way” insanity.  I can only conclude that the only means Ann has to gain any attention and thus a paycheck is to be as offensive as humanly possible.  Sort of like a Perez Hilton of commentators.

Such blathering ignorance graced my dear country Canada at the University of Ottawa.  What is shocking is that any of my countrymen went to see her.  Ezra Levant, who I used to respect, actually defended her position.  Truly my eugenics program needs immediate government funding.

I also blame the University of Ottawa too.  I have no doubt their goal is to smear conservative values by bringing in a well know crazy one to show off as an example.  I’m sure half the student body became members of the Green Party after seeing her.  Brilliantly played.

Ann has an incredible talent to insult people, and in doing so actually makes herself look smaller in the process.  Take this interview for example:

When answering questions from students at the University of Ottawa, Coulter told a 17-year-old Muslim student to “take a camel” instead of the flying carpet she has previously suggested Muslims use for transportation. Coulter later told CTV that the “camel” remark was a joke.  Wow.  Racism too.  Why don’t you tell blacks to pick some cotton, or Mexicans to make you a burrito while you’re at it?  Now we all know that racism and being an ignorant human douchebag generally go hand in hand, but nevermore is such a perfect example displayed before us.

Add to that other cute comments such America “allowing” Canada to exist.  So that’s how you treat your friends huh lady?  We’re only your friends as long as we follow you everywhere? Tell you what, if you think you can take us then be our guest.  Just be ready for the lights to go out in half your country, and more heavily armed and super-pissed native Indians than you’ve ever seen greeting you at the border.

I guess what I’m saying is, we’re probably more trouble than we’re worth.

Ann Coulter’s flavor of conservatism is so blind to geopolitical realities that we can only watch her in the same way as viewing a monkey in the zoo masturbating and throwing its own feces, and then somehow still having the skill to Twitter about it.  True conservatives should have nothing to do with her.

So to Ann, I have a simple message: If you don’t like Canada, then GOOD.  It means we’re doing something right.  We didn’t follow you into Iraq because we knew something your own country is now well aware of…that Bush was wrong.   Not to mention that America is one bad day away from having a massive economic coronary, so you probably shouldn’t be a dick with the few remaining friends you have left.  And you’re welcome for the help in Afghanistan.  Now please, go home and make a fool of yourself on your own soil.

Oh, and good luck with your invasion.  We’ll keep the lights on for you until then.

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About Author

John Paul Parrot ( aka. The Dysfunctional Parrot ) is a disgruntled Systems Analyst who wanders the Canadian wastelands saving small villages with the power of Kung Fu.  His chair is also a little too close to the twenty year old microwave.  As you can well imagine, this has had certain side effects.

  • overlanderX

    Thank you that as a fellow Canadian you feel this woman is off her rocker. Freedom of speech is one thing, but nobody has the right to a platform for hate speech.

  • bray

    damn straight.