The Syrian Slaughter


Sure, we all know the Dysfunctional Parrot takes a real interest in the middle east. What, you don’t know that? Man, if it’s one thing I can’t stand is people who don’t understand how much more important my interests are than their own meaningless endeavors.   Just plain selfish of you.

So in case you haven’t heard or were distracted by Dancing with the Stars, the new X-Men movie, or cheating politicians with the last name “Weiner”, Syria is having a great old time shooting fish in a barrel. However, the fish in this sad scenario are actual Syrian citizens.

What really made me get off the can was the polite “request” by the UN Secretary General for the Syrian government to cease the mass murdering of its own people. Asking? Since when did an ultimatum to a scuz-bag dictator require the same decorum as an audience with the Pope?

When you look at how Israel gets lambasted for any act of self defense then you’d think the world would literally be pulling its hair out to take Syria to the woodshed and give it a good old fashioned ass slapping. If Israel were to even think of opening fire on its own citizens, there would be a global cartel that would include every nation and planet from here to Krypton in an effort to take her down. Syria? It might be stereotypical to say this, but we expect Islamic nations to act like a bunch of uncivilized morons.

It’s the favored child syndrome. Israel is such a good kid that if she gets in a fight…even if it’s self defense…we freak out like a bunch of soccer moms. But when her Islamic neighbors get out if line we don’t care because those are the kids we never expected to accomplish anything in life anyway.

It reveals our double standard. Israel must adhere to a moral code that nobody could live up to in her situation, while her neighbors can stay up past midnight and wrap dad’s cherry 67 Mustang around a telephone pole without any repercussions except sanctions. Sanctions.

Let me say it a third time for effect. Sanctions. Syria cares about sanctions about as much as I care about my co-workers belly button lint. Nada. Zip. Negative digit territory. And unfortunately, it also seems that the rest of the world doesn’t care about Syria or the plight of her people that deserve a better hand than they are being dealt.

Syria and her citizens have for the most part been hostile to Western civilization and that means the unofficial foreign policy is to sit back with a blueberry dachari and watch them self destruct.  We’ve handed them the plastic bag and scissors and told them to go play on the freeway as we’d rather be concerned with other less important matters.

Because unlike Libya, Syria has no oil and thus the world has nothing to gain by helping.

The Dysfunctional Parrot is all in favor of using Syrian President Assad’s residence as the location for the next Michael Bay movie.

© 2011, John Paul Parrot. All rights reserved.

About Author

John Paul Parrot ( aka. The Dysfunctional Parrot ) is a disgruntled Systems Analyst who wanders the Canadian wastelands saving small villages with the power of Kung Fu.  His chair is also a little too close to the twenty year old microwave.  As you can well imagine, this has had certain side effects.