Connect with us


Thinning the Herd



Looking at the news today I see that some poor dope got himself killed by attempting to outrun an angry bull this Friday at Pamplona’s San Fermin Festival.

To many of us who have the mental impairment of thinking logically, it’s quite hard to fathom why anyone would voluntarily try to outrun a bull.

Is there a life lesson here?  Whether there is or not, I’ll make one up if I have to.  It’ll be a good clean Christian lesson too from your Uncle Parrot, so enjoy!

Lets begin with some foundational principles:

1) The universe has a defined set of rules.  For example, you can’t outrun an angry bull.

2) When you break the rules, the rules usually break you.  See previous reference to said bull.

With that in mind, I must lament the latest pop-theology to infiltrate the Christian church…the Grace Movement.  The bull will soon become apparent.

The postmodern grace movement is tailor made to our North American culture.  It is narcissistic, suffers from logic so bad it would bring Spock to tears, and feeds the desire to live a life “without the rules”. I’m sure the Apostle Paul is spinning in his grave so fast, Israel is thinking of hooking him up to a turbine to power Tel Aviv.

Somehow I doubt the real Jesus would approve of this new liberalism.  The gospel is reduced to Cosmic-Whiteout, as any and all forms of godly behavior is relabeled as legalistic.

What happened?  How did we get to this?

Maybe I do understand how we arrived here.  Maybe we’re so overburdened with life we just want to say “the hell with it” and THINK we can throw off the rules.  I’m sure that’s what Jose’ thought too before he got a horn through the neck.

I wish I could throw it all off too.  But the red-light camera will still catch me speeding.  The doctor will bitch me out for my all-hot dog diet.  If I work 7 days a week I’ll go on a rampage.  If I jump out of an airplane without the chute, no amount of grace is going to lessen the impact.  And that bull will get revenge on behalf of his brothers for all the cheeseburgers I ate as a kid.    Life has rules.  Life IS rules.

I fear that those in the current grace movement are setting themselves up for a major disappointment.  Christ came to save us from our sins indeed, but not from the consequences.  That is empirically obvious.  Many hoodwinked by this new theology may find themselves looking over their shoulder trying to outrun the consequences of mocking God’s instruction.  This may well be the “thinning” of the Christian herd.

The good news is that God’s rules are still there and are still good for you.  When we submit to his WRITTEN ordinances, that’s when we can truly chill-out, relax, and have some serious fun with life.  We’re not constantly worrying about whether our next action was some form of legalism that we need to whip ourselves over.   And we won’t be gored either.

There is order to the universe.  I suggest we accept it, or start running.


John Paul Parrot ( aka. The Dysfunctional Parrot ) is a disgruntled Systems Analyst who wanders the Canadian wastelands saving small villages with the power of Kung Fu.  His chair is also a little too close to the twenty year old microwave.  As you can well imagine, this has had certain side effects.



  1. Danny Ray Milligan

    January 8, 2014 at

    This is not the worst, Parrot! I had one person tell me that ANYTHING that Jesus said before the Crucifixion was Old Testament, and no longer applies. Once people start rewriting the Bible to suit their theological imperatives (as the JW and LDS do) or choose to ignore all other parts of the Bible that conflict with their personal interpretation, they might as well be muslims or hari krishnas or buddhists, because they are not christians, nor does the god they’ve created with their interpretation exist….

  2. Andrew Logue

    July 10, 2009 at

    Oh classic! That Pearl Jam comment…unreal dude.

  3. DysfunctionalParrot

    July 10, 2009 at

    What the heck is it with Emergents and PEARL JAM???

    Interesting site, yet terribly sad. It's like the only way postmodernists have any identity is to work 24/7 at trying NOT to be an evangelical Christian. What a burden.

    In the world, and of it…the Emergent Creed.

    I'll also get my hands on that book you mentioned too. Sounds good!

  4. Andrew Logue

    July 10, 2009 at

    Dude Francis Schaeffer had an AMAZING foresight into where we were headed. Its like he prophecied the Emergent Church…except he was Presbyterian and didn't do prophecy ha! If you've never read it, read "The God Who is There" by him. Amazing. He'll tell you "how we got here"!

    On a lighter note, if you want an insight into the emergent battle raging here in Lancaster PA, visit Its the bloggins from the pastor of our local emergent church. Some of the "New Puritans" went to church there before he went off the deep end. You'll see everything from praising the Gnostics, an abandonment from Biblical gender rolls and sexuality, a twisted distortion of history (his post on Calvin's Geneva…he decided to write that 2 days after he found out my daughter was born and I named her Geneva…). I think you'll enjoy yourself over there.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

YouTube Channel

Copyright © 2022 Dysfunctional Parrot Productions