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FITNESS ZONE

Rethinking Food – 2020 Fitness Foresight

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We live in a culture of excess.  Big Macs, Big Gulp, big butts.  For the sake of this article, I’m assuming most of you have fairly steady access to a meal.  If not, then I question how you’re reading this since internet packages ain’t cheap.  Fix your damn priorities.

Hands down, the number one nemesis under the bed will be the big bad calorie monster.  For some of us it becomes a battle that goes to extreme levels that simply should not be.  If you have a stick of Juicy Fruit and record the calories, your life needs some attention.

It’s not a Diet.  It’s a Lifestyle.

I’m fully aware that my dietary choices make me an insufferable pain to be around.  Kosher, gluten-free and soy-free makes me just a wonderful delight to have over for dinner.  People now just treat me like a koala bear by throwing carrot sticks and eucalyptus leaves on a plate.

koala
Got any extra?

I have a few issues with the current diets like Keto.  Short-term they often rock, but they are not long-term, and are not healthy if done so.  If you think you’re doing Keto for the next ten years straight then good luck.  That means most of these diets are short-term solutions to long-term problems.

Still, you have to start somewhere.  Safe to say, everyone has their preferences and diets plans change from one year to the next.  This year however, I have run into an eating plan that so far has been very, very promising.

Don’t “Dual Fuel”

This is going to sound odd, but the method of eating that has finally reversed the weight-gain and not made me ravenously hungry in the process is all due to these delightful ladies at Trim, Healthy Momma.  You can thank Mrs. Parrot for that discovery.

Many diets have an all or nothing approach.  Keto nukes all carbs.  Others all fats.  This approach is neither, which means we get to avoid the extremes.  If you’re going to have a meal, don’t mix fuels ( carbs and fats ).  Have a protein with fats or carbs, but not both.  That way the body isn’t using one form of fuel and storing the other like a dumb squirrel.  Because really, that’s what most of us are.

squirel
Stupid little calorie hoarders.

I had some skepticism about this approach because it felt a bit wishful, but be damned if I didn’t loose almost 10lbs in a month by doing nothing different besides limiting my fuel to one.  My wife likewise, who was never even slightly big, has straighter lean legs which is great for husbands like me with a filthy mind.  On an unrelated note, those schoolgirl miniskirts on Amazon are worth every penny.

How is it done?

Don’t take me as the final authority on this, but I’ll illustrate how I go about incorporating this.  Let’s say I wake up at 6am, and as usual wish the world would just die already.  I gently nudge my wife who for 23 years in a row, covers her head with a pillow and informs me to make my own damn breakfast.

pillow
Is that a 'no'?

So I now have a choice;  do I go fats or carbs?  Some days I fry up eggs ( proteins/fats ).  Choosing that means I cannot add granola, cereal or breads ( carbs ).   Another day I’ll have some steel-cut oatmeal and have a side of Greek yogurt, but then cannot have eggs or butter.  Sugars are also extremely limited to practically none.  You see what I’m doing here?  Stick to one fuel and the body does the rest.

But what if I change my mind?  If I’m going to switch fuels, I give about 3 hours before doing so.  As nutty as this sounds, be darned if it doesn’t work brilliantly.  Now I’m probably simplifying this system a lot more than I should to give it proper representation, so by all means go to their site and check things out.  They sell baking mixes and other stuff, but in all fairness you don’t need any of it.  No, I’m not getting anything for mentioning them, and I doubt they even know who I am.  I think that’s the real crime here.

The downside of this philosophy is the name.  Most guys are not going to be drawn in by “Momma”.  Or maybe you are, who am I to judge?  I say re-brand as “Duel-Fuel”, “Fat-Fusion” or something with bacon in the name.  No need for royalties, ladies.  Those ideas are on the house.

As we continue on with our 2020 Foresight series, I next thing we need to discuss is equipment

John Paul Parrot ( aka. The Dysfunctional Parrot ) is a disgruntled Systems Analyst who wanders the Canadian wastelands saving small villages with the power of Kung Fu.  His chair is also a little too close to the twenty year old microwave.  As you can well imagine, this has had certain side effects.

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