I’m a disgruntled Systems Analyst who works in a padded box and has little to no social contact for roughly eight hours a day.   My chair is also a little too close to the twenty year old microwave.  As you can well imagine, this has had certain side effects.

I also work in news media.  Well, I support the systems that support this freaking gong show that spends millions on telling people nothing.  That gives me a unique opportunity to use my insider skills to set the record straight.  It’s the only way I can pacify my “guilty by association” soul and stop wetting the bed.

Despite this I am fortunately married with children.  I guess that means I’ve apparently had sex…but I’m not sure.  My Dad was never really clear on the physics of that during our fishing trips.  All I know is my wife keeps having babies and is starting to give me an angry look.

But this place…DysfunctionalParrot.com…is where a part of me hangs out and screams into the wind of my own crushed subconscious.   It’s news, reviews, podcasts and fitness all from the perspective of an otherwise rational Christian man who is kind of trying to deal with the sudden mutation in his life.

I once had a bird named Toby who had this thing for slippers.  And by “thing”, I mean she liked to satisfy the wild animal within by passionately mounting it while listening to Barry White.

From  my lips come the infamous words: “dysfunctional parrot”.  Thus the inspiration for the next wave of internet awesomeness was inspired by a horny bird.

Makes sense to me.