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FITNESS ZONE

Beachbody is Dead. Long Live BODi

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In an age where being offended has become a dysfunctional virtue, I suppose it was only a matter of time before a name like “Beachbody” was going to attract the attention of the blue-haired executioner.  Well, that day has come. Over the next 12 months, Beachbody will undertake a major rebranding to their new name, BODi.

If any of you have found your way onto a Beachbody’s mailing list, then you probably got the news when I did.  I honestly can’t say I gave the old name a second thought.  I live in northern Alberta, Canada…so there’s about 3 months a year where a beach-body is even in view.  The rest of the time we chew on whale blubber and take care of recurring frostbite.

polarswim
We're a strange lot.

The concern over at BB HQ was that a name like Beachbody might work against one’s self-esteem.  Ugh…that’s where we’re at I guess.  That excuse bugs me, as NOBODY should esteem themselves.  Have self-confidence in leaned skills and abilities.  But if you’re a fat, useless twit who has made no effort to better yourself, then your self-ESTEEM should reflect that.  I see too many trying to help people with self-esteem when they would have far better returns helping that person become productive and confident.

But I digress.

There was of course, one portion of the announcement that had me rolling my eyes:

“But part of this shift is also acknowledging the possibility that for some, we played a role in projecting the notion that fitness and nutrition is about chasing an ideal, and for that I apologize.”

Grrr.  Enough with the apologies.  Shut up.  Shut up.  Shut up.  Besides, it’s a stupid thing to apologize for.  Fitness and nutrition is about chasing an ideal.  Look, at 51 years old I’m never going to have a body like Shaun T and that’s ok.  I get it.  But I can chase that ideal.  Maybe today I can do something better than yesterday.  It’s called growth.  And it’s a good thing.

It’s why I go hunting with my son in blowing snow and sub-zero temperatures for an elusive white-tail.  It’s why when my body says it can’t do another rep, I struggle to ask it to give me more.   It’s why I play an electric guitar and know I’ll never be the next Van Halen.  Chasing an ideal is actually rather healthy.  Chasing mediocrity is mental cancer, quickly becoming a societal pandemic.

The name change also reflects a certain…shall we say…change in the fitness of cast members.  In the past, a universally physically fit cast was the norm.  A typical California “beachbody”, if you will.  Now its quite common to see one, or even a few cast members who are sporting an extra 30 pounds.  And I guess that makes sense, as let’s be perfectly honest…the vast majority of us doing fitness videos are closer to that participant than the ripped commando we aspire to be.  Still, I want to pursue the ideal, not remain “happy with who I am” and settle for less.

But again, I digress.

Considering Beachbody is a California company, the name change was inevitable.  But complaining aside, I’m certain it will work out perfectly fine for them.  Think about it…BODi flows off the tongue more naturally anyway.  BODi on Demand…yeah, it works.  Just enjoy it while you can.  Eventually the notion that humans have “bodies” will become offensive to some Twitter-troll and every company will concede, only to have a hieroglyphic for a name.

Personally, I’m just grateful they went with BODi instead of iBOD.

John Paul Parrot ( aka. The Dysfunctional Parrot ) is a disgruntled Systems Analyst who wanders the Canadian wastelands saving small villages with the power of Kung Fu.  His chair is also a little too close to the twenty year old microwave.  As you can well imagine, this has had certain side effects.

7 Comments

7 Comments

  1. Leonard

    November 14, 2022 at

    Seriously. Check out Athlean-X. Jeff Cavalier is amazing (I actually suspect that BB started allowing profanity to compete with Athlean-X), and puts Beachbody’s post – Steve Edwards to shame; I have no idea who is running Beach body now, but a company that used to be on the cutting edge is now a pandering machine. I stopped personally with Beach Body after Max 30. I agree with the Parrot; Max 30 was almost a work of art – but the whole point of P90X and Insanity or Asylum (all excellent programs) way back when is that they were extreme and sensible simultaneously, and achievable without a full gym.

    That said, they BB have had nothing to offer anyone that is serious about fitness since they converted to streaming and try to sell you shakeology every ten seconds. There are much better options than Beach body these days – they blew it. P90X was revolutionary; even Tony Horton, who likely drew you to them in the first place, left them, though Tony’s efforts since are certainly solid. Go with tony’s new venture, go with Jeff, and stop giving your money to thsi company that is a caricature of its former self. It’s been nearly a decade since BB offered up something useful to the serious.

  2. elchupinazo

    November 10, 2022 at

    Did you do anything beyond a cursory reading into why they are changing the name? Beyond the part you’ve fixated on, BODi is the name of their live-streaming product that is currently available as an add-on subscription. It’s where they do the bike workouts and other bootcamp type classes. But as of March 2023, BOD and BODi are merging into one product. The library will remain, and they’ll continue to churn out two traditional programs per year. But the bulk of the new content will be monthly mini-programs with tiers for beginners, advanced, people who have a bike, and anyone dumb enough to spend money to follow the same workouts led by the “super trainers.” THAT is most of the reason behind the name change. The other stuff is just lip service.

    I can abide a fair amount of crankery as I myself can be a crank sometimes. But this is bigtime “old man yells at cloud” stuff. Body image issues and eating disorders have a clinical element, whereas nobody gets medically adicted to playing the guitar. Silly to conflate the two.

    • Raj

      November 14, 2022 at

      That’s a good point about eating disorders. As more research comes out, the ideal BMI from a health perspective is like between 22 and 27. Being slightly overweight is healthier than being thin, even with a “normal” BMI between 18.5 and 22, and certainly below 18.5 which is the cultural ideal for many. Even physician activity independent of BMI can cause harm at extremes—marathon runners are less healthy than people who run 5k, because of stress fractures and rare cases of sudden cardiac death. And of course, using hormones to bulk up has significant risks for those pursuing that ideal. Bottom line—moderate changes to diet and exercise are awesome, but obsessing over ideals does indeed have risks.

  3. Gelo A.

    November 8, 2022 at

    Hahahaha! iBOD had me laughing. Gone are the days of good ol’ Beachbody. It mostly targets women, nowadays.

  4. Peter

    November 4, 2022 at

    When does the old catalog get removed/censored or has it been already?
    Anything with Tony or Sagi will have to be edited or removed. Maybe they can just put some tape over it like Tony did on his aging is for idiots shirt in the power of four so he wouldn’t be cancelled. I’m glad I have the old programs hardcopy and backed up.

    • John Paul Parrot

      November 7, 2022 at

      I’m certain the old stuff will remain. The branding logo will be swapped at intros for sure, but the rest will remain. As for censoring…probably not worth it. Censor-loving dolts aside…money still talks. Hardly worth putting in the big bucks to edit Brazil Butt Lift!

      Also, didn’t know about Tony’s shirt. He’s still selling them though, so I guess he can’t be too worried.

      • Raj

        November 13, 2022 at

        I mean, why would he wear the shirt if it was an issue? Seems like more of an inside joke. Seems like a “kitty litter in school restrooms” situation.

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