Show’s Over Princess!


Anyone who has raised girls probably at one point in time will encounter Disney’s propaganda machine about being a Princess.  A mooching, useless, gold-digging Princess.

Life has been good to me in the fact that my two girls care for none of that crap.  They’d rather dig for worms in the backyard and hunt for frogs. And there is not a day that goes by that I do not thank the good Lord above for saving me from Disney’s plastic princess hell.  One of my nieces has a real princess fetish.  So I asked her point blank, “so, what do princesses actually do all day?”.  The reply? “Look in the mirror, do their hair and dance”.  The next generation of gold-diggers has been supplied courtesy of Disney to provide inspiration for tomorrows Kanye Wests.

Why even bring it up?  Seems Disney has officially pulled the plug on princess movies considering how socially obsolete they are.  The genre has run its course as a princess is now synonymous with idle living, sex scandals, and uh…Fergie.  For giggles, lets quickly run down the list of Disney “examples” over the last few decades:

In the last decent Disney fairy tale, Beauty and the BeastBelle was able to see past Beast’s looks and abusive mannerisms for his true value: a big castle and a massive real estate portfolio.

That harpie mermaid Ariel married a guy after having knowing him for three days.  I’m sure his royalty had nothing to do with it.

Sleeping Beauty set new standards in date-rape drugs.

Snow White had less common sense that an Enron boardroom to shack up with 7 obsessive compulsive midgets ( sorry, short people ) hiding in the woods who were capable of any number of deranged acts.  Then the flake just up and marries some guy who kisses her lifeless body just because he’s rolling in Euros.

Cinderella wore glass footwear that would never pass CSA standards for safety.  Plus she was no better than her money-hungry sisters.  The only difference was her looks and totally unfair access to a demi-god Godmother.

Princess Jasmine?  Think burkas and Islamic law.  That girl would be beheaded for leaving the castle with her belly-button showing.  Sure, Aladdin had less money than me in college, but Jasmine already had that base covered thanks to the Sultan.  Kind of like Archie and Veronica.

So what lessons have we learned from Disney’s Princess experiment?  That any guy no matter what his misgivings is worth chasing after as long as he looks good and has money.  Love according to Jersey Shore so to speak.  The animated abomination that was the Hunchback of Notre Dame made that clear…ugly deformed people need not seek love from beautiful people.  Rather, accept that the good lookers seek each other and you will never have true love.

Well, that is unless you’ve got access to the great equalizer…cold hard cash.  According to Disney the Hunchback would be sporting a harem if that was the case!

So thank you Disney.  Thank you for at least ending this social experiment that has created more expendable Kim Kardashians and self-absorbed couch potatoes that we care to admit.  Yes, we still must drown in plastic princess toys for a time until the warehouses run dry, but maybe there is hope down the line.

Maybe tomorrow’s little girls can aim higher than being superficial, vacuous, sugar-daddy hunters.

© 2010 – 2015, Dysfunctional Parrot. All rights reserved. No reproduction of written material is permitted.

About Author

John Paul Parrot ( aka. The Dysfunctional Parrot ) is a disgruntled Systems Analyst who wanders the Canadian wastelands saving small villages with the power of Kung Fu.  His chair is also a little too close to the twenty year old microwave.  As you can well imagine, this has had certain side effects.

  • UnprofitableServant
  • Dysfunctional Parrot

    Now that's an interesting site I'll have to spend some time on!

  • UnprofitableServant

    Yes, be careful though. The guy who runs it isn't a believer but it's amazing to me he sees whats going on even moreso that those who are supposed to see the truth.

    Luke 16:8 And the lord commended the unjust steward, because he had done wisely: for the children of this world are in their generation wiser than the children of light.

  • UnprofitableServant

    Hi Parrot,

    These are most of the sites I get news from: : Dispensationalist but correct about the identity of Babylon and coming out of it. : Deceived by pre-tribulation rapture doctrine of demons. Some good info otherwise. : Secular news from Israel : Deceived by "Jesus Only" heresy and pre-trib rapture heresy. Some good news links though. : Identity of Mystery Babylon exposed. : : Left sided Hegelian Dialectiloid's : Level headed articles backed by scripture. : Hegelian Dialectiloid – Careful, Steve wants to fight for Babylon and is deceived by UFO garbage…. : Babnesia : Hegelian Dialectiloid – Careful, like Steve above…. : Hegelian Dialectiloid and Babnesia to an extent at times…

    Test all things!

    Online Bible study tools:

    Free downloadable bible:

    Bab·ne·sia (bab-ne'zh?)


    The loss or impairment of memory as to the true location of Mystery Babylon due to heaping up teachers according to ones own desires and willful ignorance.

    Hegelian Dialectiloid


    so-called philosopher – a person who uses an interpretive method in which the contradiction between a proposition (thesis) and its antithesis is resolved at a higher level of muddying the waters of truth (synthesis)


  • UnprofitableServant

    Hi Parrot,

    I was trying to post the news sites I read for your perusal but it doesn't seem to want to go through..

  • Dysfunctional Parrot

    large post required a manual accept by moi. All good to go!

  • Did Dysfunctional Parrot even watch the movies, or did they half remember them and look up a summary on wikipedia?

    The Beast doesn’t seem to have any money really. I’m actually really surprised writer didn’t go for the kidnapping etc.

    Yeah I’m pretty sure Ariel marrying a prince had nothing to do with
    his title, HER DAD’s A GOD. I’m pretty sure being a God beats
    out being some minor noble.

    Sleeping Beauty: roofied by a woman.

    Princess Jasmine: Married a thief without any money, she’s the rich one, article writer needs to check her islamophobia.

    Not sure a hunchback who’s been raised in a belfry by a religious
    zealot and imagines the masonry can talk would make a very good husband
    for a well balanced woman, I don’t know that’s just me.

    • Who HASN’T seen these movies? Relax there my friend, the article is hardly to be taken seriously and was written in 2010. Up until yesterday I forgot I even wrote it.

      Honestly, I’m surprised Reddit even bothered to give this article a second thought.