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REVIEW: 80 Day Obsession

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No rest for the weary as I dive straight from A Little Obsessed and right into 80 Day Obsession, the next in Beachbody On Demand’s exclusive releases designed to drag you kicking and screaming into giving them your credit card information.

I was going to break this review into several parts but decided against it for several reasons.  Not the least of which is that the workouts, although individual recordings, repeat themselves so my concern was that a 2 part review would be redundant.

What you get

First, be aware that like A Little Obsessed, there is no tracker bar or music track.  Therefore the option given is a collection of Spotify playlists one can fumble through in the Program Materials section.  Moving between 2 apps is somewhat of a pain but I guess that’s the way it goes.  I took a quick gander at the tunes and well, Autumn’s playlists look like they were curated by a committee of soccer moms.  Fear not kids, as I have created my own playlist to substitute which I guarantee will result in 50% more muscle growth, and maybe even some extra hair in the private places.

Two can play at this game sweetheart.

Equipment required will be the same as A Little Obsessed:  a decent mat, a set of resistance loops and strength slides.  One commenter mentioned swapping with furniture glides and be damned if they don’t work just peachy.

How it comes together

80DO is broken down into 3 Phases, each lasting roughly a month.  The workouts, although repeated each week are individually shot videos, so there will be little to no repeats.  As each phase progresses, so does the difficulty.

Total Body Core

Time: ~60 minutes

As the name implies, it’s top to bottom.  Presses, abs, rows, curls…over the 3 phases it’s a wild ride progressing from basic to compound motions.

I would be remiss not to mention that the BOD app is a little flaky at times.  I’m currently using an iPhone 7 ( iOS 11.3 ) and Air-playing to an AppleTV.  The Airplay option is reliable only if I turn mirroring on/off, then Airplay the content.  Sometimes I have to force quit the app and restart for workouts to show up at all.  A little disconcerting at times.  The company is fairly quick on patches so things seem to be improving as Billy the app-programmer gets occasional motivation via electrified nipple clamps.

Booty

Time: ~45-60 minutes

Squats, leg-lifts done with and without weights throughout.  Sometimes we have to break out those bands but for better or worse I was able to modify.  Expect to develop rather impressive power-packs and a cure for those long days of sitting at the office.  I also noticed some increased durability on my lower back which was very welcome.  The old thing has seen better days.

boot1
If this doesn't firm up the rear, not sure what will.

Cardio Core

Time ~40 minutes

While highly effective from a heart-rate point of view, Autumn’s cardio routines are in my experience boring as a Nunavut weather forecast.

nunavut
Endless, frozen tundra. Book your tour groups now.

Lots of skipping and hoping.  Occasionally you break out the sliding pie-places for some ab work.  It feels a bit repetitive ( because it probably is ) and eventually I just grabbed a jump-rope and did my own thing.

AAA

Time: ~45-50 minutes

Two rounds of 15 motions that alternate from abs, arms ( curls, rows, flyes ) and the backside.  Sorry to say, I really didn’t like this set of workouts at all.  It’s a little of everything and a lot of nothing.   Plus using those sliders and bands just add complexity where some imagination could discard them entirely.

aaa_2
The sliding plates do come off as a little gimmicky at times.

Men in general will find the limited collection of upper body movements frustrating as they amount to little more than a warm up.  Doing a few cycles of curls a week for example, will provide exactly diddly-squat for growth.  Like all of Autumn’s workouts, the top half really takes a backseat.

Legs

Time: ~45-55 minutes

If AAA is a pointless voyage into the abyss, Legs brings us back to what should have been.  Instead of floundering randomness, this one is clean, targeted and delivers on the name.

Again, legs are Autumn’s bigger strengths which makes sense from a female perspective.  Women tend to want the firmer butt and lean legs like Black Widow, while men desire to be shaped like Johnny Bravo.

Johnnyb001
Am I right?

That all having been said, this one rocks and I can almost forget that I was asked to use resistance loops.  I did have concern that Autumn’s “co-stars” were going to be the victims of a Janet Jackson level wardrobe malfunction.  Rather than dwell in ignorance I pulled Mrs. Parrot aside and asked how breasts and spandex can co-exist in such a precarious balance between good and evil.  She just cuffed me upside the head and told me not to even think of writing that in my review.   I guess that means by the time you read this, I’m already in the doghouse.

80day_legs
A picture is worth a thousand boobs...words! I meant words!!

Cardio Flow

Time: ~30-45 minutes

I must say, without music this is so freaking boring.

“But Parrot,” you may scold.  “Just use the Spotify app and rock out, like…hashtag you know?”  Well, I’d certainly like to if the Spotify app wouldn’t stop the BOD app, or the BOD app stop the Spotify app when moving between the two.  Like sufficient fabric and breasts, they seem to have a hard time co-existing.

doghouse2
Can someone loan me a blanket? It gets cold out here.

So either have 2 phones, a stereo or ask your spouse sit in a lawn chair and hum their best AC/DC.  I opted for none of the above because it’s 6am, I haven’t had my coffee yet and I don’t have time for this nonsense.

Some of the moves are a little ambitious.  The jumping mule kicks did nothing but demonstrate my clumsy acrobatics.  This is more of a balance cardio workout with a little plyo thrown in so don’t expect a Max 30 level kicking.

Roll and Release / Stretch and Release

Time: ~19 minutes

I do love my foam roller.  So much so that like my bolt-action 30-06, you can pry it from my cold dead fingers.

rumbler
And no permit required. Unless you live in Britain.

While all the workouts are repeated week after week, these two are only done once in the beginning weeks.  So they are there if you need them, but I can see why there would be no need to create separate productions for something that doesn’t really change all that much.

CONCLUSION

Having almost 80 individual videos made this a particularly challenging review due to the long haul.  It also made it a difficult series to get through based on some small technical issues I mentioned before.  However, if you have a means of tackling the music problem then you’re set.

Gotta give credit, Autumn delivers a hell of a package here.  It takes a lot of drive to make this many videos for one program and thankfully the outcome is one that has broad appeal.  Women will love it and men can easily grab a dumbbell where required to modify in some heavier sets.  I appreciate this change of genre for Autumn because oy’ vey, Country Heat was a tough slog to get through.

Ultimately I give this a higher recommend for women due to the heavier focus on lower body.  The lack of upper body strength training might require a few hybrid workouts to fill the gap for us guys but don’t let that dissuade you.  Mrs. Parrot tends to agree here, women will find this a very challenging series that thankfully doesn’t get “girl-ish”, and I was able to not feel like I was at a cheerleader camp.  But if you want fast, strong, durable legs and a bitchin’ core, then 80 DO is the undisputed winner.  It’s because of this superior area that I make up some of the scoring losses for upper body.

I’m giving 80 Day Obsession a good 4.2 Feathers out of 5.  Music notwithstanding, it pretty much always kicked my backside.  It breaks the pattern of sub-30 minute workout programs out there, but to that I say “good”.  In doing so this avoids becoming niche and instead takes its place as a serious training program.

REVIEW: 80 Day Obsession
7.8 SCORE
Pros
  • Almost no repeat workouts.
  • BOD app seems to get regular updates to resolve issues.
  • Legs will become inhuman power machines
  • Cons
  • Production values take a hit due to lack of soundtrack.
  • Spotify integration has a few bugs to work out.
  • Upper body attention not equal.
  • Summary
    An ambitious project to create new daily content for 80 days straight. Autumn manages to create a series that has somewhat universal appeal, although women may gravitate to it more.
    Trainer8
    Production Values7
    Strength8
    Cardio8

    John Paul Parrot ( aka. The Dysfunctional Parrot ) is a disgruntled Systems Analyst who wanders the Canadian wastelands saving small villages with the power of Kung Fu.  His chair is also a little too close to the twenty year old microwave.  As you can well imagine, this has had certain side effects.

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