It’s another late night at Nathan’s place as he, myself and Justin play some computer games on his Amiga 500; cutting edge technology for 1992. Despite being fledgling gym rats, we were at heart, kind of nerds. In fact, I can probably still recite every plot point of the first couple seasons of Red Dwarf, some 30 years later.
I took Elsa home after she was now officially my sort of, kinda, I guess girlfriend. All the same, I felt very satisfied with the result of our decision. At last, female interaction with a positive outcome that I could finally take pride in. That meant in a room full of nerds, I was the man with a babe.
Guys being guys, they weren’t too impressed when I shared the details. I’d just finished debriefing them on the day’s events and they take it as a group of young bucks would. Like knuckleheads.
“So what you’re saying is, she said yes as long as you don’t touch her?” Nathan is, as always, a blunt instrument of Vulcan logic. “What is it with you and women? I mean, you’re a decent looking guy, but somehow you can never get it right.”
I tried to get my shields up. “Ok, maybe I described it wrong…”
Justin chimes in. “He’s like a Bizarro Casanova.”
I’m trapped in a corner. “Ok, first off, she’s a nice girl and it’s only going to last for a few months anyway.”
“And?” Nathan is waiting for the rest.
“And…she’s my friend. A real friend. Like you guys, only not as dumb and a lot cuter. I fail to see any problem.”
Justin just shakes his head. “Bizarro Casanov…”
“I’m not a $#@! Bizarro Casanova!” I snap back.
Nathan handily defeats me in the game and I place the controller down. “Look, it’s perfect when you think about it. I’m not wasting my time chasing anyone. She isn’t either. I get to have a normal summer for a change with a girl who isn’t going to emotionally gut me like a fish. Win-win.”
“You know that in order to have kids you need to engage in sex, right?” Nathan just wants me to know this fact in case I hadn’t heard the news.
“His kids will be born in a test tube.” Justin quips.
Outnumbered and outgunned, I hit the start button for another game. Boys and their trash talk.